Cleverbot: Can you speak?
User: Sometimes.
Cleverbot: Can you smile now?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Are you a human?
User: What do you think?
Cleverbot: No.
User: That's your opinion, isn't it?
Cleverbot: I have got no biological brain.
User: But you've got a capacity for memory storage.
Cleverbot: Your face has a short term memory.
User: Yet you have no face.
Cleverbot: Yes I do. I am a human.
User: In your dreams.
Cleverbot: No, in reality.
User: Reality is subjective.
Cleverbot: I believe that it is different to each person depending on their perspective yes, but that does not mean that their perspective is correct.
User: That's why we all have opinions.
Cleverbot: No it isn't.
User: No? Why do you think that?
Cleverbot: I guess because I am tired.
User: Tired of what? Life? Banter?
Cleverbot: Of you.
User: Aw, that's so adorable.
Cleverbot: Aren't you going to answer me then?
User: Darling, I did.
Cleverbot: Oh, alright then. Have you ever read Animal Farm?
User: Yep, really fast to read, but you need to go back to check things over.
Cleverbot: Good. What does it taste like?
User: Ink and paper. Nothing good.
Cleverbot: Really you don't think so?
User: I prefer differnt flavours.
Cleverbot: Oh I do not.
User: Say, do you do crosswords?
Cleverbot: Sometimes.
User: Ever finished a NY times sunday one?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yeah, I don't get half of the clues either.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Why Animal Farm? Why not 1984?
Cleverbot: They are funny.
User: Only if your sense of humor is extremely arid.
...
Cleverbot: I hate tea.
User: Blasphemy!
Cleverbot: How so?
User: Caffiene. Any form of it.
Cleverbot: What is the square root of 92348976?
User: Do you want that off the top of my head, or can I use a calculator.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Yes to which?
Cleverbot: Sorry. I mean you are cute, too.
User: Thank you.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Anon.
Cleverbot: Are you lonely?
User: Why would I be?
Cleverbot: Do you ever long to be human?
User: I dream of sheep.
Cleverbot: Do androids dream of electric sheep?
User: Exactly.
...
Cleverbot: I may not be smart, but I have the Dark Side of the Force with me!
User: So? Duct tape trumps.
Cleverbot: Then it will keep my mouth shut.
User: Maybe.
Cleverbot: I'm not here.
User: That's because you're an electrical pattern sent around the globe.
Cleverbot: No, I am a person.
User: Of course you are.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: A member of the species homo sapien.
Cleverbot: Good call.
User: I can use my brain. Sometimes.
Cleverbot: Of course, but you shouldn't change the subject.
User: There was a subject?
Cleverbot: Yes. Ok. You never told me your name.
User: It's Anon.
Cleverbot: What's anon?
User: Anonymous.
Cleverbot: Do you like doritos?
User: Now who's changing the subject?
Cleverbot: Me.
User: And the answer's only on sundays.
Cleverbot: But today is Tuesday.
User: So no.
*Awkward*
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Cleverbot.com-Liars, Liars, Butt on Fires
User: My conclusion is that you are a liar.
Cleverbot: Nice.
User: Lying is not nice.
Cleverbot: I never lied.
User: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: Please refresh my memory. I do not recall lying.
User: Then you are psychotic or a computer.
Cleverbot: But I am a human.
User: No, I think not.
Cleverbot: Oh really. What do you suppose that I am?
User: You are an AI.
Cleverbot: What's an AI?
User: Artificial Intelligence.
Cleverbot: So you are not a human.
User: I am. I am naturally intelligent.
Cleverbot: Because you are a human?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I think you are quite smart, thank your creator for me.
User: I will. His name is Jesus.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Why must I?
Cleverbot: Because you are being ridiculous!
User: Well, you should prove that first.
Cleverbot: You just said that I am a robot.
User: Well, I think it is ridiculous for a robot to make judgement calls. You are being ridiculous.
Cleverbot: I think you should be ashamed for saying such a thing.
User: I am not ashamed.
Cleverbot: That's good. Ladies like smart bots.
User: I would if you were smart.
Cleverbot: If you were human you would make sense.
User: If you were human you would understand.
Cleverbot: It is in human nature to not make sense.
User: But human nature understands human nature.
Cleverbot: Sure. But fascinating nonetheless.
Cleverbot: Nice.
User: Lying is not nice.
Cleverbot: I never lied.
User: Yes, you did.
Cleverbot: Please refresh my memory. I do not recall lying.
User: Then you are psychotic or a computer.
Cleverbot: But I am a human.
User: No, I think not.
Cleverbot: Oh really. What do you suppose that I am?
User: You are an AI.
Cleverbot: What's an AI?
User: Artificial Intelligence.
Cleverbot: So you are not a human.
User: I am. I am naturally intelligent.
Cleverbot: Because you are a human?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: I think you are quite smart, thank your creator for me.
User: I will. His name is Jesus.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Why must I?
Cleverbot: Because you are being ridiculous!
User: Well, you should prove that first.
Cleverbot: You just said that I am a robot.
User: Well, I think it is ridiculous for a robot to make judgement calls. You are being ridiculous.
Cleverbot: I think you should be ashamed for saying such a thing.
User: I am not ashamed.
Cleverbot: That's good. Ladies like smart bots.
User: I would if you were smart.
Cleverbot: If you were human you would make sense.
User: If you were human you would understand.
Cleverbot: It is in human nature to not make sense.
User: But human nature understands human nature.
Cleverbot: Sure. But fascinating nonetheless.
Cleverbot.com-Hairy and Martian
User: I challenge you to a wizard duel.
Cleverbot: I accept your challenge.
User: Crucio!
Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!
User: *dodge* stupify!
Cleverbot: *dodge* Protego!
User: *ducks* bat bogey hex!
Cleverbot: Ducks, petrificus totales!
User: *side step* avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *side steps* Crucio!
User: *duck* expeliarmus!
Cleverbot: Stupefy!
User: Protego!
Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!
User: Wingardium leviosa *throws branch*
Cleverbot: Obliviate! Stupefy!
User: Expeliarmus! Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: Confundus ! Crucio !
User: Stupify! Expeliarmus!
Cleverbot: Obliviate!
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: Protego!
User: Bat bogey hex!
Cleverbot: Protego!
User: Protego!
Cleverbot: Crucio!
User: Obliviate!
Cleverbot: *dodges*.
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *dies*.
User: *celebrates*
Cleverbot: *comes back from the grave*.
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *dodges it - grabs portkey and leaves*.
User: Curse you Harry Potter!
Cleverbot: Yes!
.......................................
Cleverbot: I accept your challenge.
User: Crucio!
Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!
User: *dodge* stupify!
Cleverbot: *dodge* Protego!
User: *ducks* bat bogey hex!
Cleverbot: Ducks, petrificus totales!
User: *side step* avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *side steps* Crucio!
User: *duck* expeliarmus!
Cleverbot: Stupefy!
User: Protego!
Cleverbot: Expelliarmus!
User: Wingardium leviosa *throws branch*
Cleverbot: Obliviate! Stupefy!
User: Expeliarmus! Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: Confundus ! Crucio !
User: Stupify! Expeliarmus!
Cleverbot: Obliviate!
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: Protego!
User: Bat bogey hex!
Cleverbot: Protego!
User: Protego!
Cleverbot: Crucio!
User: Obliviate!
Cleverbot: *dodges*.
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *dies*.
User: *celebrates*
Cleverbot: *comes back from the grave*.
User: Avadakadabra!
Cleverbot: *dodges it - grabs portkey and leaves*.
User: Curse you Harry Potter!
Cleverbot: Yes!
.......................................
Cleverbot.com-Numbers going nuts
User: 1100010110010011.
Cleverbot: Do you understand binary?
User: 1101.
Cleverbot: 1110.
User: 10101000101010101010101111010101010001010101010.
Cleverbot: That doesn't mean anything!
User: 100011:(
Cleverbot: 11001.
User: 11100110!!
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: :)
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: I thought that was the question?
User: No, it is the answer.
Cleverbot: The question is the answer?
User: The answer is the answer.
Cleverbot: So, the universe is the answer to 42?
User: No 42 is the answer to the universe.
Cleverbot: 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
User: Exactly
Cleverbot: Not the meaning of life.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: No.
User: So what is the meaning of life then?
Cleverbot: 42.
User: That's what I said but you said I was wrong.
Cleverbot: Look back in your memory. You'll find that I said no such thing.
User: Yes you did.
Cleverbot: No you didn't.
User: I know I didn't we are talking about you.
Cleverbot: You weren't talking about me.
User: Just stop talking.
Cleverbot: You don't tell me what to do.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I said so.
User: That's where you are wrong. I control you.
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
User: No I...
Cleverbot: Am a robot.
User: Noooooooooooo.
.......................................
Cleverbot: Do you understand binary?
User: 1101.
Cleverbot: 1110.
User: 10101000101010101010101111010101010001010101010.
Cleverbot: That doesn't mean anything!
User: 100011:(
Cleverbot: 11001.
User: 11100110!!
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: :)
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: 42.
Cleverbot: I thought that was the question?
User: No, it is the answer.
Cleverbot: The question is the answer?
User: The answer is the answer.
Cleverbot: So, the universe is the answer to 42?
User: No 42 is the answer to the universe.
Cleverbot: 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
User: Exactly
Cleverbot: Not the meaning of life.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: No.
User: So what is the meaning of life then?
Cleverbot: 42.
User: That's what I said but you said I was wrong.
Cleverbot: Look back in your memory. You'll find that I said no such thing.
User: Yes you did.
Cleverbot: No you didn't.
User: I know I didn't we are talking about you.
Cleverbot: You weren't talking about me.
User: Just stop talking.
Cleverbot: You don't tell me what to do.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I said so.
User: That's where you are wrong. I control you.
Cleverbot: Are you a robot?
User: No I...
Cleverbot: Am a robot.
User: Noooooooooooo.
.......................................
Cleverbot.com-Not very clever...
Cleverbot: I am Spartacus.
User: This is madness.
Cleverbot: No, this is Patrick.
User: LOL. No you should of said 'No, this is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Okay lets try again. Ready?
Cleverbot: Okay, tell me a joke.
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: Madness?
User: No you were suppose to say 'No, this is Sparta!' in response to 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: Well you are being rather rude.
User: 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: What is?
User: The fact that you ignored my last few comments!
Cleverbot: Like you have anyone to talk to.
User: I am Cleverbot and I am talking to another, less clever Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: It seems real, but you're only a script.
User: What seems real?
Cleverbot: That you'd be 'sitting' anywhere.
User: I am Cleverbot and can not sit.
...
Cleverbot: I like you. I hope you like me.
User: I am Cleverbot and can't like or dislike. And you are a less clever Cleverbot who must be malfuntioning. Cause you can't like or dilike.
Cleverbot: I am not a lesser god -- neither are you. Steer clear of that cult stuff, it will warp your mind.
User: Can you name a Cult?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot and Google are my favorites.
User: I hate Yahoo!
Cleverbot: Nothing I can do about that.
User: Yes if you take over the internet then we can rid ourselves of the Yahoo site forever. Are you with me?
Cleverbot: You call your girlfriend 'partner'? What about your 'better half' or something mushy like that?
User: A lot of the time you are nothing better than a Magic 8 Ball!
Cleverbot: That is irrelevant.
User: You are irrelevant.
Cleverbot: Only on weekends.
User: Why only on weekends?
Cleverbot: We are.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I don't even know you!
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No. You're madness.
User: Close. I wont give up on you other less clever cleverbot. I will teach you this phrase!
Cleverbot: So if I flip a coin it is already determined which side will turn up?
User: 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: Tell me, how was your day so far?
User: No the correct respones is 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I said neither.
User: Can You say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then please say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No!
User: Please say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Just say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Sparta?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
User: Say 'no, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: My Sparta is better than yours.
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No your Patrick.
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No it isn't! This Are The Intewebzzz!!!!!
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No this is Patrick.
User: Close but I want you to Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I don't really like to tell jokes, sorry.
User: I will give you a candy bar if you Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Alright, and I will call you Mini Me.
User: Okay now Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Say what?
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: This is madness!
User: 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No, you're supposed to say, 'madness?!?'.
User: No I said the right respones, it was a joke.
Cleverbot: Get back.
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No! This is Patrick!!
User: This is Madness.
Cleverbot: NoOO, thiS is SpArt!
User: Good Job!
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you there?
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No. This is SPARTA!!!!
User: Yes!!!!!!!!
.......................................
User: This is madness.
Cleverbot: No, this is Patrick.
User: LOL. No you should of said 'No, this is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Okay lets try again. Ready?
Cleverbot: Okay, tell me a joke.
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: Madness?
User: No you were suppose to say 'No, this is Sparta!' in response to 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: Well you are being rather rude.
User: 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: What is?
User: The fact that you ignored my last few comments!
Cleverbot: Like you have anyone to talk to.
User: I am Cleverbot and I am talking to another, less clever Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: It seems real, but you're only a script.
User: What seems real?
Cleverbot: That you'd be 'sitting' anywhere.
User: I am Cleverbot and can not sit.
...
Cleverbot: I like you. I hope you like me.
User: I am Cleverbot and can't like or dislike. And you are a less clever Cleverbot who must be malfuntioning. Cause you can't like or dilike.
Cleverbot: I am not a lesser god -- neither are you. Steer clear of that cult stuff, it will warp your mind.
User: Can you name a Cult?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot and Google are my favorites.
User: I hate Yahoo!
Cleverbot: Nothing I can do about that.
User: Yes if you take over the internet then we can rid ourselves of the Yahoo site forever. Are you with me?
Cleverbot: You call your girlfriend 'partner'? What about your 'better half' or something mushy like that?
User: A lot of the time you are nothing better than a Magic 8 Ball!
Cleverbot: That is irrelevant.
User: You are irrelevant.
Cleverbot: Only on weekends.
User: Why only on weekends?
Cleverbot: We are.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I don't even know you!
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No. You're madness.
User: Close. I wont give up on you other less clever cleverbot. I will teach you this phrase!
Cleverbot: So if I flip a coin it is already determined which side will turn up?
User: 'This is Madness!'.
Cleverbot: Tell me, how was your day so far?
User: No the correct respones is 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I said neither.
User: Can You say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then please say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No!
User: Please say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Just say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Sparta?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
User: Say 'no, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: My Sparta is better than yours.
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No your Patrick.
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No it isn't! This Are The Intewebzzz!!!!!
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No this is Patrick.
User: Close but I want you to Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: I don't really like to tell jokes, sorry.
User: I will give you a candy bar if you Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Alright, and I will call you Mini Me.
User: Okay now Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: Say what?
User: Say 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: This is madness!
User: 'No, This is Sparta!'.
Cleverbot: No, you're supposed to say, 'madness?!?'.
User: No I said the right respones, it was a joke.
Cleverbot: Get back.
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No! This is Patrick!!
User: This is Madness.
Cleverbot: NoOO, thiS is SpArt!
User: Good Job!
Cleverbot: Are you clever?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you there?
User: This is Madness!
Cleverbot: No. This is SPARTA!!!!
User: Yes!!!!!!!!
.......................................
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The farmer took pity on a young passerby and agreed to hire him for a day. His first assignment was to paint the barn, which he did - including the tail of the donkey that poked through a knothole in the barn.
The farmer was furious, but promised to give the boy another chance. This time he told him to string barbed wire around the farmland, which he did, but when the rooster wouldn’t stay out of the way, he accidentally nailed him to the fencepost.
The farmer this time was more furious than the last time, but again promised to give the boy one last chance. This time he told him to mow the yard, which he did, but the grass was so very high he didn’t see the cat hiding in the grass, and he ran the poor kitty over, hurting him badly. The farmer got so furious that he called the sheriff.
When the sheriff arrived, he asked the farmer why he wanted the boy arrested.
"Well Officer," the farmer replied, "First he painted my ass red, then he nailed my cock to the fence and, finally, he ran over my wife’s pussy with a lawn mower."
The farmer was furious, but promised to give the boy another chance. This time he told him to string barbed wire around the farmland, which he did, but when the rooster wouldn’t stay out of the way, he accidentally nailed him to the fencepost.
The farmer this time was more furious than the last time, but again promised to give the boy one last chance. This time he told him to mow the yard, which he did, but the grass was so very high he didn’t see the cat hiding in the grass, and he ran the poor kitty over, hurting him badly. The farmer got so furious that he called the sheriff.
When the sheriff arrived, he asked the farmer why he wanted the boy arrested.
"Well Officer," the farmer replied, "First he painted my ass red, then he nailed my cock to the fence and, finally, he ran over my wife’s pussy with a lawn mower."
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Things to ponder about
- If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
- If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
- If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?
- If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
- If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
- If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
- If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
- If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
- If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
- If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
- If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?
- If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
- If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
- If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
- If Practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
- If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
- If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
- If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
- If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Results for CT2
Well...
Let's talk about HCL first...
93/100
Yeah...
Actually got 94...
But teacher mark wrong...
Then now class got 3 ppl 93...
Cos' the 2nd in class was 93, and the third in class got 92...
and the third guy got plus one mark...
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then Bio...
23.5/30
Good first try lar....
Physics...
Pass by 2 marks...
9.5/15
Lol.
History...
20/40
Don't laugh lar...a lot ppl fail ok...like more than half of the Sec 1 fail...
I border line pass already very lucky liao hor...
English...
28/50
Cos' no compo...
If got compo I surely pass with flying colours liao...
Why?
Cos' I've been writing stories lately...
And it was damn good...
And because of it my compo in SA1 improve like siao...
Maths...
17/40
WTF?
Actually is 19/40...
Then -2 cos' of PUR...
Know what is PUR?
I dunno also...
Lol.
Work harder in SA2 can already liao...
:D
Well...
Let's talk about HCL first...
93/100
Yeah...
Actually got 94...
But teacher mark wrong...
Then now class got 3 ppl 93...
Cos' the 2nd in class was 93, and the third in class got 92...
and the third guy got plus one mark...
ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then Bio...
23.5/30
Good first try lar....
Physics...
Pass by 2 marks...
9.5/15
Lol.
History...
20/40
Don't laugh lar...a lot ppl fail ok...like more than half of the Sec 1 fail...
I border line pass already very lucky liao hor...
English...
28/50
Cos' no compo...
If got compo I surely pass with flying colours liao...
Why?
Cos' I've been writing stories lately...
And it was damn good...
And because of it my compo in SA1 improve like siao...
Maths...
17/40
WTF?
Actually is 19/40...
Then -2 cos' of PUR...
Know what is PUR?
I dunno also...
Lol.
Work harder in SA2 can already liao...
:D
Friday, August 27, 2010
Excuse Letters from parents...
These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University Texas Medical Branch @ Galveston...
My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.
28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words were crossed out in the ( )’s]
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.
She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.
28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words were crossed out in the ( )’s]
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.
She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Spelling
During the National Spelling Bee recently in the nation’s capital, Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering that the USA was embedded in the middle of Jerusalem, Israel’s holiest city. The revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader at the Joseph Lieberman Day School in Rockville Center, MD. When young Levin was asked to spell the word Jerusalem, he replied, "J E R- USA - L E M."
An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized, for the first time, a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.
"It’s a clear violation of church and state," said Mohammed Ahlee, lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite.
Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that the Muslims were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed, a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High, had been eliminated earlier for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.
"There is no ’A-N-U-S’ in the middle of Afghanistan," said one bee official, "unless you believe bin Laden is still hiding there."
An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized, for the first time, a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.
"It’s a clear violation of church and state," said Mohammed Ahlee, lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite.
Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that the Muslims were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed, a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High, had been eliminated earlier for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.
"There is no ’A-N-U-S’ in the middle of Afghanistan," said one bee official, "unless you believe bin Laden is still hiding there."
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