Friday, May 21, 2010

Boy: I saw her today...
Girl: I saw him today...
Boy: It seems like it's been forever
Girl: I wonder if he still cares...
Boy: She looks better than before...
Girl: I couldn't help but stare
Boy: I asked her how she was
Girl: I asked him about his new girlfriend
Boy: I'd choose her over any girl
Girl: He's probably happy now
Boy: I couldn't look at her without thinking I would cry.
Girl: He couldn't even look at me...
Boy: I told her I missed her...
Girl: He told me he missed me...
Boy: I meant it...
Girl: He didn`t mean it...
Boy: I love her
Girl: He loves her...
Boy: I held her
Girl: He gave me a friendly hug...
Boy: Then I went home and cried...
Girl: Then I went home and cried...
Boy: I lost her
Girl: I lost him
Boy: *Sigh*
Girl: *Sigh*

Monday, May 17, 2010

Top rejection lines given by men and women and what they actually meant

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
(and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to do my dad.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)

5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.)

In response...The male perspective on the same issue...

Top 10 rejection lines given by Men
(and what they actually mean...)

10. I think of you as a sister.
(You're ugly.)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You're ugly.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You're ugly.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(You're ugly.)

6. I've got a girlfriend.
(You're ugly.)

5. I don't date women where I work.
(You're ugly.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(You're ugly.)


3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(You're ugly.)

2. I'm celibate.
(You're ugly.)

1. Let's be friends.
(You're sinfully ugly.)

Woman are difficult

If you kiss her,
you are not a gentleman
If you don't,
you are not a man

If you praise her,
she thinks you are lying
If you don't,
you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes,
you are a wimp
If you don't,
you are not understanding

If you visit her often,
she thinks you are boring
If you don't,
she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed,
she says you are a playboy
If you don't,
you are a dull boy

If you are jealous,
she says it's bad
If you don't,
she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance,
she says you didn't respect her
If you don't,
she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late,
she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late,
she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man,
you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman,
"oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while,
she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often,
she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street,
you lack ethics
If you do,
she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

If you stare at another woman,
she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men,
she says that they are just admiring

If you talk,
she wants you to listen
If you listen,
she wants you to talk


In short:

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful...
....WOMEN!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Girls....*sigh*

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Just a short notice, won't be posting for a long time cos' got a lot of hw. Thanks.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Two VERY long jokes.

Here's two very long jokes, one of them is related to the "魔王与公主“ on the second post below.


公主被魔王抓走了...... 在下来,故事开始罗......

Scene 1
魔王:你尽管叫破喉咙吧,没有人会来救你的!
公主:破喉咙!破喉咙!
没有人:公主,我来救你了!
魔王:...................................

Scene 2
魔王:你叫破喉咙也没有人会来的!
公主:破喉咙!破喉咙!
破喉咙:我来了............

Scene 3
魔王:你叫破喉咙也没有人会来的!
公主:破喉咙也没有人!破喉咙也没有人!
破喉咙也没有人:公主,我来救你了!

Scene 4
魔王:你叫破喉咙也没有人会来的!
公主:也没有人!也没有人!我是破喉咙......
也没有人:破喉咙公主,我来救你了!

Scene 5
魔王:你尽管叫吧,没人会听到的!
公主:吧!吧!吧......
媒人:公主,我听到了!是谁要提亲丫?
魔王:...........................

Scene 6
魔王:你叫破喉咙吧!没有人会来救你的!
公主:对不起!我叫破伤风,破喉咙是我姐姐!
魔王:喔!我倒&%$#@&%^*^$&#%^

魔王与公主(Deluxe)
有一天魔王抓走公主, 公主一直叫
魔王:你尽管叫"破喉咙"吧~~"没有人"会来救你的~~~
公主:"破喉咙"~~"破喉咙"~~~
没有人:公主~~我来救你了~~
魔王:说"曹操""曹操"到~~~~
曹操:魔王~~你叫我干嘛!!!
魔王:哇勒~~~看到"鬼"!!! 鬼:"靠"!!!被发现了~~
靠:胡说,"谁"发现我了~~~
谁:关我屁事~~~~
魔王:oh~~"myGod"!!
上帝:"谁"叫我????
谁:"没有人"叫你阿~~~
没有人:我哪有~~~~
据说魔王从此得了精神分裂症

结局: 话说魔王的精神分裂好了以後,又再次抓住公主。 这一次魔王为了避免闲杂人等又跑出来搅局, 决定单刀直入,长话短说,直接切入正题.....

魔王:「别挣扎了!听我的话,嫁给我吧!
公主:「好吧!」

於是“我”高高兴兴牵著公主的手走入结婚礼堂,接受大家的祝福, 只剩下嘴张得像河马、身体呆若木鸡的魔王还留在原地发楞.......

魔王与公主(Mega Deluxe Edition)
有一天魔王抓走公主, 公主一直叫.
魔王 :「你尽管叫破喉咙吧...没有人会来救你的....」
公主 :「破喉咙..破喉咙..」
没有人:「公主..我来救你了...」
魔王 :「说曹操曹操就到...」
曹操 :「魔王..你叫我干嘛..」
魔王 :「哇勒..看到鬼」
鬼 :「靠!被发现了..」
鬼 :「你看的到我喔...」
魔王 :「Oh,My God!」
上帝 :「谁叫我?」
谁 :「没有人叫你阿...」
没有人:「我哪有?装肖ㄟ。」
肖ㄟ :「谁在装我?」
谁 :「又说我?你们找麻烦啊?」
麻烦 :「哪一个找我?」
哪一个:「找你?我才没有...咦,这儿有好多人。」
好多人:「我才刚到耶……你是谁?」
哪一个:「我才不是谁。」
谁 :「他才不是我。」
公主 :「大家都是来救我的吗?」
大家都:「我不是来救你的,是来看热闹的。」
热闹 :「我有什麽好看的?」
上帝 :「不关我的事,先走了。」
魔王 :「你回答一个问题再走,为什麽这麽多人救公主?我这个魔王怎麽演下去?」
下去 :「你好好的魔王不干,演我做什麽?」
公主 :「魔王若是没有人演,我就可以走了。」
没有人:「若是我演魔王,怎麽会让你走...」
怎麽会:「我才不让公主走,我要看热闹。」
热闹 :「看我干什麽?」
什麽 :「你居然要『那个』我?」
你居然 :「我哪有?」
我 :「干我屁事ㄚ?」
魔王 :「靠!我要疯了......。」
疯了 :「你要我干啥?」
你要我 :「我什麽都不知道ㄚ!」
我什麽都不 :「我哪知咧!」
我哪知 :「我在这里ㄚ!有人在叫我吗?」
有人:「我没有叫你啊!」
我没有:「谁叫他了啊?」
谁:「冤枉啊...我没有...」
我没有:「我没有要冤枉你啊...」
你:「谅你也不敢。」
谅你:「谁说我不敢!?」
谁:「拜托啊...我什麽都没说啦」
我什麽都没:「你要我说什麽?」
我什麽都不:「...你...你不就是我那失散多年的兄弟吗?」
谁:「...我要赶快离开这个是非之地」
我那失散多年的兄弟:「拷...我名字取这麽长...也会被叫到啊...」
是非:「原来这里是我的地盘啊...」
我什麽都不&没:「你们别吵我们在讲话啦...」
你们别吵我们:「我没有在讲话啊...」
我没有:「我才没有讲话咧」
我什麽都不:「-_-"...走...我们到外面去聊...」
走:「人家不好意思啦...」
我什麽都没:「□□□屁事啊...闪啦...」(两兄弟生气的走出去)
□□□屁事:「呜...为什麽赶我走...」
为什麽:「我没有要赶你走啦...乖...不要哭」
我没有:「喔...又干我啥事了」
干我啥事:「啥?有人叫我吗?」
有人:「谁要叫你啊...」
谁:「我真的要走了...T.T」
走:「人家真的不好意思啦...*V.V*」("谁"不支倒地)
□□□屁事:「...你不是我表妹吗?」
干我啥事:「...表哥...好久不见啦...」
魔王:「□□□...这是认亲大会啊...」
续) 认亲大会:[为什么是我?]
为什么:[我哪是你?]
我哪:[他才不是我咧!我在这儿!]
我在这儿:[叫我吗?]
我妈:[没有叫我啊!]
没有:[我没叫你!]
我没:[我也没叫你!]
我也没:[我哪里叫过你???]
我哪里:[你胡说什么?]
你胡:[我什么也没说呀!]
我什么也没:[我...我说什么?]
我说什么:[叫我吗?]
我吗:[谁叫我?]
谁:[我没叫你啊!] ...... 魔王自杀了。



三只小猪的故事。

猪A叫的名字叫“谁”,猪B的名字叫“哪儿”,猪C的名字叫“什么”。

有一天,猪A和猪B站在门口,猪C在屋顶上。一只狼发现了它们,想要吃掉它们,于是冲到猪A面前……
狼:你是谁?
猪A:对!
狼:什么?
猪A:什么在屋顶。
狼:我是问你的名字是什么?
猪A:我叫谁,什么在屋顶。
狼又问猪B。
狼:你是谁?
猪B:我不是谁,它是谁(指着猪A)
狼:你认识它?
猪B:恩。
狼:它是谁?
猪B:是的。
狼:什么?
猪B:什么在屋顶。
狼:哪儿?
猪B:哪儿是我。
狼:谁? 猪B:它是谁?(又指着猪A)
狼:我怎么知道。
猪B:你找“谁”?
狼:什么?
猪B:它在屋顶上。
狼:哪儿?
猪B:是我。
狼:谁?
猪B:我不是谁,它是谁。
狼:天哪!
猪A猪B:“天哪”是我们的爸爸。
狼:什么,是你们爸爸?
猪B:不是。
狼受不了了,仰天长叹:“为什么?”
猪ABC:你认识我们爷爷?
狼:什么?
猪A:不是,为什么是我们的爷爷。
狼:为什么?
猪A:是!
狼:是什么?
猪A:不,是“为什么”。
狼:谁?
猪A:我是谁。
狼:你是谁?
猪A:对,我是谁。
狼:什么?
猪AB:它在屋顶。 …… 最后,狼自杀了。


-TF 27/3/2300

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

"I don't know what makes you attractive but you are attractive." -from a random book I've read.

We all have a place in this world. There's no one who doesn't belong to anywhere. Just because someone hates you for some nonsense reasons doesn't mean that you do not belong here. You may have physical problems, or mental problems. You maybe an idiot, a sports idiot, a maths idiot, or you maybe horribly deformed like me (Look at my profile picture), or you are born withot arms or legs, worst, both, like Nick Vujicic. Even if you are ugly, mentally disabled, spine problems, leg problems, suffering from a disease, it doesn't mean that you are done. Everyone has an advantage and a disadvantage. You may be clever, but you may be an idiot in sports. You may be good looking, but your IQ may be 0. Everyone is the same. No one is different.

-TF 23/3/2300

Monday, March 22, 2010

Some jokes

No music camp and malaysia trip posts today, but instead some jokes here...

1. 魔王抓住了公主 
      魔王说:你尽管叫破喉咙吧,没有人会来救你的!
      公主:破喉咙,破喉咙!
      没有人:公主,我来救你了!
      魔王:说曹操曹操就到!
      曹操:魔王,你叫我干嘛?
      魔王:哇呀,看到鬼了!
      鬼:靠!被发现了.
  
      靠:胡说,谁发现我了?
      谁:关我屁事!
      魔王:oh,my god!
      上帝:谁叫我?!
      谁:没有人叫你啊!
      没有人:我哪有!!!

2. 太阳给草打电话
  太阳:喂,草你吗?我日。
  草:我草,你谁啊?
  太阳:我日啊
  草:我草,你到底谁啊
  太阳:我日啊,你草吧
  草:TMD,你到底是谁啊,我草
  太阳:我日,我日啊
  草:我草。
  太阳的妈妈抢过电话:草,我日他妈,草你妈好吗?

3. 出门逛街,发现一店铺里挂满了各式各样的衣服, 门口玻璃上贴着:开店大酬宾,西服30元/套,衬衫5元/件…… 不禁喜上眉梢,这么好的事情终于被我赶上了! 于是往里就走,在进门的一瞬间抬头看到: 。。。。。。。。干洗店!

4. 某次英文考试有两道题目:
  
  1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。
  
  2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。
  
  正确答案应为:
  
  1)I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
  
  2)As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
  
  但是某生的答案是:
  
  1)****!
  
  2)Hello?

5. 老妇闲来无事,擦拭在阁楼找到的尘封油灯,她心爱的猫挨在她身旁躺着。擦拭间,一个妖怪从灯里跳了出来,说会达成她三个愿望。老妇想也不想就说:“我要有钱,要恢复青春活力,要把我的猫变成英俊王子。” 一团烟雾过后,她发现自己变得年轻貌美,周围尽是财宝。猫不见了, 一个英俊的王子站在她身旁,楼着她。 她陶醉在王子的怀抱中,觉得整个人都幸福地融化掉了。 王子在她的耳边温柔细语:。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 “你阉(castrated)了我,现在后悔了吗?”

Thursday, March 18, 2010

blablablablablablbalablabalbalablaba

Srry for not posting these days, because I'm, er...well, kind of sick and...erm...no mood. I think I'll be posting a very long post on the Malaysia Trip I went on 12mar to 15 mar and about the music camp yesterday on...maybe Saturday?

Yeah, ...and this is regarding to one of my friends question, "Have you had any new crush?"

I was stunned when he asked me. I don't know how to answer him and why he asked that. So I guess I'll post it on this blog:

Yes, I have a new crush.

Because I just crushed a cockroach yesterday.

HAHA! GET IT? CRUSH! HAHAHA!

*cough cough*

-TF 18...

Wait...
BTW tmr I'll be getting my new MacBook.
Yay!

-TF 18/3/2300

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Sick

*ah, AH, ARH, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH choo.*
Dun noe y come back from KL kena...
*cough cough*
fe-
*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
ver and --
*cough AH CHOO!*
and *takes a deep breath*
*cough*
cough and *yawn*
and, ...
*ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
And cold....
*Cough cough*
*AHHHHHHHHH CHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
WTF???
*Cough*
*cough*


-TF..*AHH CHOO* 16/3...WHAT??? MARCH 16??? OMG I FORGOT--*cough cough*Nevermi-*AHH CHOOO!*